How to Identify Your Own Values
Part 2 in the ACT Values Series
Knowing your values is like knowing the “why” behind your choices. From an ACT perspective, values are ongoing life directions that help you live more intentionally — even when things get hard. This guide will help you discover your own values so you can make decisions that feel aligned and meaningful.
Step 1: Start with a Broad List
Grab a list of common values (you can download mine here) or brainstorm your own. Examples include:
Compassion
Growth
Family
Honesty
Adventure
Creativity
Service
Circle every value that feels important to you — don’t overthink it.
Step 2: Narrow It Down
From your circled list:
Choose your top 10.
From there, pick your top 5.
These are the values you most want to guide your life right now.
Step 3: Define Each Value in Your Own Words
ACT emphasizes that values are personally chosen. What “freedom” means to you might be very different from what it means to someone else. Write a short definition for each of your top values.
Example:
Compassion – Treating myself and others with kindness, especially during times of struggle.
Step 4: Map Values to Life Domains
For each value, note where it shows up most:
Relationships
Work/Education
Health
Community
Spirituality
Recreation
Step 5: Rate Current Alignment
On a scale of 1–10, how closely are you living in line with each value right now? This step helps you see which areas need more attention.
Step 6: Notice Conflicts and Gaps
Think of a recent decision you made. Which value did it support? Did it conflict with another value? (We’ll address this in the Values Troubleshooting Sheet in Part 3.)
Remember: Values Can Evolve
Your values aren’t set in stone. Life experiences, growth, and changing priorities can shift what matters most to you — and that’s okay.
Next in the series: Values Troubleshooting Sheet: How to Prioritize When Two Values Compete — a step-by-step guide to making tough choices when values clash.
Based in Nashville, TN, Lauren Kelley, LCSW, specializes in EMDR therapy, ego state work, and psychodynamic treatment. She works with adults seeking to heal from past wounds, reduce anxiety, and strengthen relationships.