Values Troubleshooting Sheet: How to Prioritize When Two Values Compete
Part 3 in the ACT Values Series
Sometimes, two values you care deeply about seem to pull you in opposite directions. Maybe you value honesty and kindness, but telling the truth might hurt someone’s feelings. Or you value family and personal growth, but saying yes to a new opportunity means spending less time at home.
From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, these moments aren’t signs that your values are wrong — they’re opportunities to act with intention. This Values Troubleshooting Sheet will help you sort through these conflicts so you can make a decision you feel good about.
If you missed the first two articles, start with Part 1: Understanding Your Values to explore what values mean in ACT, then read Part 2: How to Identify Your Values for a step-by-step process to uncover your own.
Step-by-Step Troubleshooting Process
Step 1: Identify the Conflict
Which two (or more) values are in tension? Write them down.
Example: Honesty vs. Kindness.
Step 2: Context Matters
What’s the specific situation?
Is it a one-time event or a recurring pattern?
Step 3: Short-Term vs. Long-Term Impact
What will happen if you prioritize Value A now?
What will happen if you prioritize Value B?
Consider both immediate and future consequences.
Step 4: Temporary vs. Ongoing Priority
Sometimes, one value takes the lead in this situation without losing importance in your life overall.
Step 5: “Toward” or “Away” Moves (ACT Concept)
Which choice moves you toward the kind of life you want?
Which choice feels like avoiding discomfort?
Step 6: Accept the Discomfort
Acknowledge any feelings that come with your decision (anxiety, guilt, sadness).
Plan how you’ll make space for them without reversing your choice.
Step 7: Your Decision
Chosen value to prioritize: __________
Why this choice supports your life direction: __________
Why This Works
By making your thinking visible and weighing your values consciously, you’re less likely to act on autopilot or out of fear. Instead, you’re making a values-driven choice — and that’s the heart of ACT.
Lauren Kelley, LCSW, is a Nashville psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience helping adults overcome trauma, anxiety, and life challenges. She integrates EMDR therapy, ego state work, and psychodynamic approaches to support meaningful, lasting change. If you’re interested in scheduling a complimentary phone consultation, click here.