Understanding Values: Your Compass for Living a More Intentional Life
When life feels overwhelming or uncertain, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. This is where your values come in. From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, values are not just nice words on a list — they’re the deeply held directions that guide how you want to live, even when the path gets hard.
What Values Are (and What They’re Not)
Think of values like a compass:
They point you toward the life you want to live.
They don’t tell you exactly how to get there, but they keep you moving in the right direction.
In ACT, values are qualities of action — ongoing ways of being, doing, and relating in the world.
It’s important to know what values aren’t:
Values are not goals. Goals can be checked off (“Finish my degree,” “Run a marathon”). Values are directions you can follow for a lifetime (“Keep learning,” “Care for my health”).
Values are not rules. They are freely chosen, not imposed by others or dictated by “shoulds.”
Values are not feelings. You can act on your values even when you feel scared, sad, or anxious.
How ACT Uses Values
In ACT, values give your actions meaning. They help you:
Clarify what matters most so you can make intentional choices.
Stay grounded when strong emotions or fears try to pull you off track.
Step toward a richer life instead of avoiding discomfort.
For example:
If you value honesty, you might choose to have a hard conversation even though it’s uncomfortable — because acting with integrity is more important than avoiding awkwardness.
Values and Discomfort Go Hand in Hand
It’s common for people to think, “If this feels bad, it must be wrong.” But in ACT, discomfort is often a sign you’re moving toward something that matters.
Setting a boundary might bring anxiety.
Speaking your truth might bring fear.
Standing up for yourself might bring guilt.
Those feelings don’t mean you’re failing — they mean you’re stretching toward your values.
Core Value Domains in ACT
Values can show up in many life areas. Here are some common ones used in ACT:
Relationships – being loving, supportive, honest
Personal Growth – learning, creativity, curiosity
Health – physical care, rest, movement
Work/Education – contribution, mastery, service
Community – volunteering, activism, connection
Spirituality – faith, mindfulness, reflection
Recreation – play, adventure, relaxation
You don’t have to value all of these equally. Your unique combination of values is part of what makes you, you.
Why Clarifying Values Matters
When you know your values:
Decisions become easier because you have a clear compass.
You’re more willing to face discomfort for the sake of what matters.
You live with a greater sense of purpose, even in challenging times.
Next in the series: How to Identify Your Own Values, Part 2 of our ACT Values Series. In this article, you’ll use a simple process to clarify your top values and see where you’re most (and least) aligned in your life right now.
Lauren Kelley, LCSW, offers therapy in Nashville and online across Tennessee, blending EMDR, ego state work, and psychodynamic methods. Her practice focuses on helping adults process trauma, find calm, and create more fulfilling lives.